The Anger Post

I wasn't sure whether to post this.. I think that maybe shoving this stuff out there into the world will help me to overcome it :)

Now that things have finally settled down completely, I am just under 2 weeks from a holiday and all I feel is anger when thinking about my relationship status.


I'm angry that even though I try to deny it, it does bother me that my ex is gone (even though I would never EVER take him back).
I'm angry that I didn't get proper closure or to say all of the things that are on my mind to the person who caused them.
I'm angry that I feel as though I wasted 3 years with someone who I should have left sooner. I'm angry that I didn't know (when with him and unhappy) that I could live by myself and cope without him. I'm angry that it takes so long to get over this, when all I want to do is try to move on.
I'm angry that I don't even know what I want right now or how to fill this void when I don't even know what exactly I'm missing (cos towards the end I was lonely anyway)..
I'm angry that I spend too many hours wasted talking to new people... When I don't even know if I could handle what they could bring to my life :S


And what do I really think? Maybe this blog will help me overcome this.. By getting it out there..


I think that my ex uses people and spits them out when he is done taking all that he can.
I think that my ex will never amount to anything in life.
I think that my ex was always jealous of me.
I think that my ex is weak.
I think that my ex is a liar.
I think that my ex never deserved someone like me in his life and I regret even bothering to try make him a better person.
I think that my ex will no doubt keep ruining his own existence.
I think that my ex will always be a victim.
I think that my ex is selfish and only thinks of himself.
I think that my ex is a lazy @^#! that wants a free ride in life.
I think that my ex always rains on peoples parade.
I think that my ex can't stand others being happy.
I think that my ex is the most hated of all guys that I never ever been with according to the majority of my friends.


I think that my ex sucks the life out of the person he is in a relationship with and in extreme circumstances he causes them to break down-- he always said that his ex before me was abusive but in actual fact.. My ex became abusive to him after his dad died and got him into drugs and eventually locked up several times in psych beds as their relationship became heaps violent. I feel as though my ex tried to cause me pain as he was jealous of my success in life, but he never broke me! I'm so proud of that! I really proved my strength! As much as he would loved to have used me up and drag me down to his level, I NEVER, EVER GAVE IN! HE left crying, NOT me! He BROKE! Sprouting to me that I can do better, OBVIOUSLY! I'll show myself that I can :D Just Watch! If anything, I learnt a lot.


I'm happy that I no longer have to listen to his no win stupid situations where no answer is good enough outcome to his stupid mind set.
I'm happy also that I NEVER have to listen to him talk over me when around others and listen to his stupid long winded BORING stories ^#*& OFF! BORING!


I think that I should have listened to myself more.. Than maybe I would have been able to throw the final K.O punch into our relationship!! It so deserved it.