Kinda Lonely

Well I don't know how this happened. A few short weeks ago, anger was the most overwealming feeling in my life. Since then I have been more focussed on moving on in my life and meeting new people with the goal of eventually finding someone new. A few later, and all I feel now is lonely. I think the worst thing that happened was the having holidays from work. Eventhough I really needed them, I have been kinda bored withoout so many people to talk to. I went away and end up sick lol so I was stuck alone even more which sucked! I did catch up with friends while away but that didnt help me feeling so lonely.

I think it all started just as I went on holidays. This guy who I had seen some potential in for quite a while came to stay twice just before I left and became really the only guy I have really wanted to chase down since I became single. I really enjoy my time with him eventhough I don't really know him well yet- he's into much the same interests which is really cool and he makes the effort to spend time with me, which is great too. But the thing is, I don't like how full on I am in my mind about it all. I really find myself wanting to spend heaps of time with him and texting and he isnt texting back as much which makes me feel kinda empty. I just feel as though perhaps I'm persuing him so bad because I'm so lonely right now, and that worries me (maybe I'm just over reacting lol). I shouldn't be so dependent on other people to make me happy, I don't like it. It's wrong because I can't always rely on them being around, I feel that I really need to be happy on my own again.. AT the same time allowing myself to get to know new people :)

I think I just need to cool it and just chill with him some more and see what we both want from this. In the mean time I need to address this loneliness thing and just stop thinking about it or something. I'm loving living on my own cos guys can come over when I want and friends, but I have actually considered moving back home cos of this loneliness.. I think though, I should push through it and find a way to cope. I have got to find a way to just be happy with my own company, it's not like there's anything wrong with it and it's not the worst thing in the world! Maybe back to the anger feeling? :P Or just make my life so busy that I struggle for time alone? Blah whatever. The universe will look after me and whatever I'm supposed to do, I should stop stressing lol